You really need to consider this before…

Whats the definition of perfect? Having no mistakes, completely accurate, non-tainted…the list goes on. This is basically what every individual wants out of life and narrowing down the broad scope of life, it’s what we would expect in a relationship. Perfection is however not our strongest point as human beings. We expect perfection but many times we barely exercise it. All in all it is because of our flaws that we strengthen our quest to being immaculate. A wise man once said “the most valuable thing you can make is a mistake-you cant learn anything by being perfect”.

This is the second time i’m covering the topic of Love and Relationships on the Carlton Mbui Blog. I’m part of a generation whose values have changed radically and morals descended. Most Dudes in college fall into deep commitment with a woman out of nothing but beauty while Chicks on the other hand may fall for a dude because of his financial status, family background or image. These are silently considered as qualities of a good partner and you’ll regularly find this type couple flaunt their “perfect relationship” on social media.

The worship of pop-culture is to blame for this misconception. We look at celebrity couples and believe that theirs is the image of a blissful relationship. Wealth, Fame and Beauty. They seem to have it all…up until they’re divorced which is the norm in Hollywood. Brainwashed by these fake couples young adults and teenagers follow the trend to flaunt their relationships all over social media. They post pictures of their partner every other day using captions like “bae, boo” or lyrics to a song they feel describes their relationship. What is the reason for this? Approval from the public. Surely people really in love wouldn’t have to constantly rub it in other peoples faces. Sadly 100 likes is better advice than words from a long time married couple nowadays.

Image is everything today. Majority of human beings communicate according to what they see. We have become visual-oriented beings and its for this reason we fall into deceit. Many admire Hollywood couples cause of their expensive material lifestyles yet question ourselves on how such an amazing pair would separate once they close the curtains on each other. Well there’s the answer. Its always only just for the IMAGE. Turn of the cameras and take away the fancy objects. Trust me, These people will be nothing but strangers to each other.

When looking for the right person to commit to, beauty and material wealth should be bonuses and not priorities. Its definite that you should be visually attracted to your partner but this is just a minor quality if you seek a worthwhile union of love. Here are strong qualities to consider as you seek your significant other ;

1. Character: Good character is a highly important feature to look for in a partner. The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that we can change someone. Under this deception an individual tries setting barriers and making rules to control their partners bad habits/ tendencies. It could work with time but through the journey there will be a lot of disappointment, conflict and hurt. Nobody is perfect as i said earlier but before you commit ensure you’re ready to deal with his/her character. Good character is key.
2. Values/Principles: Honesty, Love, Respect, Self-Control and Patience…Need I say any more?
3. Goals: Unlike the theory of magnetism where unlike poles attract when it comes to goals, concurrences attract. Having a similar vision of where you both want to be and what you want to achieve i life is bound to unify you. Forget the ‘relationship goals’ pictures you see allover the internet. Set real goals that will help you fulfill your purpose and give you permanent satisfaction. Goals that are in accordance to Gods will for the both of you.
4. Growth: A union of love should prioritize mutual growth. Not just in financially but in many other areas. The growth could be health wise through proper diet and exercise, emotional by mutual motivation and positive affirmations or even psychologically by practicing mindfulness, and sharing wisdom.
5. Faith. A couple that prays together, stays together. Growing each others faith in God through Prayer, Worship, and reading the scriptures is definitely a strong indicator of a lifelong union. When you both seek spiritual growth and nourishment you’re bound to be a very peaceful and happy item. If its worthy in Gods eyes, its Legit.

Ill say this one more time. No one is perfect. However, we want the best for ourselves and to get whats best for us we have to be our best selves.(best doesn’t mean perfect).So all the singles like my self reading this, to avoid trouble in future PLEASE consider this before you….